Don't get stuck like this man did:

Well. It appears that not all wood is good!

I appreciate your critical thinking skills, oldy

It is through deep meditation and fierce study of your musings Ed which grant me my meager abilities to pontificate alongside such as yourself. For this best describes you Ed:

"Minimum decet libere cui multum licet..."

Ouch!!!!! That sounds like something that would happen to Erniejade!!!!

Oldy: Lightly, always lightly.

Skippy: Brian uses the name Mario when vacationing, by the way....Only 1/4 inch spaces in those slats

this fine tale calls for an oldskool poem

Tell me UE, did ths happen in Nantucket?
If not, I'm going to have to throw out my poem...

quote:

Originally posted by Daiwa:
Tell me UE, did ths happen in Nantucket?
If not, I'm going to have to throw out my poem...

I shall pontificate in prose on proper posture to avert permanent posterior placement by pinchment of ones pebbles later.

nice one oldskool

---and Daiwa -- Nantucket is a tough choice , as it rhymes poorly!!

I was really hopping no one would find that article. Now if you don't mind, i am going to hind my head in shame.

Someone's got low hangers!

OUCH!

Holy hairy balls Batman!!

Luckily, that problem would never happen to me!

Yes, stoutsnoopy, you would slide right in & out of those 1/4" slats

...with room to spare.

This is why one should always have a video camera - so he could videotape himself and then make a million selling it

quote:

Originally posted by oldskool69:
I shall pontificate in prose on proper posture to avert permanent posterior placement by pinchment of ones pebbles later.

As promised...

A warm day at a Croation beach,
To take time to lay out in the sun.
A man feels that it's a peach,
To chill out in a deck chair is fun.
No need for tanning lotion,
He says,"I'll set up near the shore".
"And hear the waves crashing motions."
A man could not ask for more.
On his back he relaxed, he could not know,
The tide would come in cold and high,
And shrivel his nuts, make 'em drop low,
And between the chair slats then slid by.
Then the tide receded back to the sea,
And the temperature then would rise,
Causing his sacks to then swell freely,
And possibly double their size!

Now this poor bastard couldn't have known,
The kind of risk he did take.
Of getting his jewels trapped alone,
Below the chair where they couldn't escape.
When he awoke, and tried to arise,
He let out such a scream,
And confused about how his grapes, that he prized,
Were trapped between wooden beams!

In a panic was he, screaming in pain,
This guy really let out a yelp.
He thought it was the end and all was in vain,
Even the lifeguards couldn't help
But to the rescue, a maintenance guy came,
With all kinds of nifty tools.
He said,"This poor bastard, damn how lame.",
And wondered,"Who is this fool?"

He took a drill, chisel and saw, with a smile,
And said "Sorry dude, this may take awhile."
"For I'm no surgeon, I wish you luck,"
"But if you move or scare me, dude, your probably f&^%#d."
Well the man in chair was filled with fear,
And began to cry as the saw drew near.
But as work proceeded, there were shouts of glee,
The maintenance man had set those balls free!

And never again did men at that beach,
Relax in chairs that had slats.
For the lesson here taught to each,
Is that in these chairs, low hung balls will get snatched!

oldskool -- that had to be the best poem ever written -- really --
it had scientific validity--

and even thou we knew the ending -
it was still suspenseful-

thanks for getting this place alive -with that hall of fame performance

quote:

Originally posted by enskanker:
...with room to spare.

That's what she said!

hey oldskool --

there was a warm breeze down here tonight --
and this place i live has a community beach hut --with a cool porch and about 15 of those wooden SLAT DECK CHAIRS --
and , honestly, after reading your poem -
i went up there --
and made certain to sit diagonal/sideways----

just in case -

Ira, that is too funny

quote:

Originally posted by redbenjoe:
hey oldskool --

there was a warm breeze down here tonight --
and this place i live has a community beach hut --with a cool porch and about 15 of those wooden SLAT DECK CHAIRS --
and , honestly, after reading your poem -
i went up there --
and made certain to sit diagonal/sideways----

just in case -

LOL!

That guy is lucky no half-naked ladies walked by... Might have made for an interesting twist in that poem! Well done, Oldskool!

jt

forgot to mention --
--- oldskools poem has also prompted me to tell this true tale ::

around my hood --we folks save a bundle , by having a voluntary maintenance team --

my own participation for that past 5 years -
has been to repair and re-varnish our 15 wooden slat deck chairs .

and due to the 'overload' of fat-butt florida tourists -
i have replaced about 60 of these CURVED seat slats (no easy trick- btw)

---- but, armed with the UE story and oldskools poem ,
i am now planning to re-adjust the spacing ---on my next repair--

quote:

Originally posted by redbenjoe:
and due to the 'overload' of fat-butt florida tourists -
i have replaced about 60 of these CURVED seat slats (no easy trick- btw)...

Well Ira, I'm in construction. And though I'm no structural engineer...

I recommend the following:

Structural Steel Beams & Decking For The Seats



The best part is the decking has no gaps for slippage of acorns. However...it is steel so during the Florida summers, the plus sized my emit the smell of bacon frying!

another bum lead by oldskool --

recent surveys reveal that tourists would much prefer stuck nuts to boiled nuts !

I think you misunderstood Ira. When those snowbirds come down, they oil up for tans, leading to fried nuts! And either way they end up stuck because, if you noticed, that wasn't "Teflon" coated steel!

Oldy, you have many talents, several of which cottonblendjoe tells me he wishes he did not know about.

View from my hotel room while on vacation:

um, isn't this why they invented speedo's?...........